Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Randomize
