i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
