Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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