Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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