Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
