And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
