note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
