her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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