Buhtt sex?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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