Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
