Dual....:-)
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
