508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
