my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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