is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
