we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
