nut hugger
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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