I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
