I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
