We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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