Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
