I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
