I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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