awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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