I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
