There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
