no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I still have a little drunk in my system
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
