Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
