I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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