so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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