Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
