Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you had me at cake vodka
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
