he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
