dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
