i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Let's paint friendship bongs
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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