My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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