I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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