Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
