I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
