Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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