Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize