He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
