when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
