but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
