im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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