Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
