peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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