I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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