Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I deserve this hangover.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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