idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
