would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
