i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
