so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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