ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
