Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
